Monkeyshines

Dellamorte Dellamore, It Is Not...

2010-08-17T12:03:00.000-04:00

Dylan Dog is a character from an Italian Comic Book of the same name and he is one of my favorite Comic Book characters. I've long thought that Dylan Dog would transition seamlessly to the big screen. Dylan Dog is referred to as "L'indagatore dell'incubo", which translates as "Nightmare Investigator." If you have not checked out any of the comics, I recommend that you do so. Dark Horse has a collection available here.

So, it was with great excitement that I watched the below trailer. Check it out:

I unfortunately was very underwhelmed by what I saw. I hope it's just a poorly made trailer and the movie will be good, but I can't say that I have high hopes. In the meantime, if you haven't already, watch Dellamorte Dellamore, otherwise known as Cemetery Man here in America. It is easily one of the best Zombie movies of the last 20 years. The character of Francesco Dellamorte was actually based on Dylan Dog, who ironically enough was based on the appearance of Rupert Everett who played Francesco Dellamorte. Confused? Here is a scene from Dellamorte Dellamore:

This Could Be The Best Movie Ever!

2010-05-05T13:23:00.001-04:00

No words are even needed, watch the damn video.

Like Zombies? Like Boobs? Have I Got A Trailer For You...

2010-04-21T11:01:00.002-04:00

I would not fuck with the Ping Pong Zombie if I were you.

What Are You Waiting For?

2010-04-02T12:05:00.001-04:00

Steam is running one of its awesome weekend specials for Borderlands. From now until 10 am PDT on Monday morning, Borderlands is 50% off and will cost you $24.99! I have been singing its praises for a while, but if you’ve never played it and are curious, I highly recommend you taking advantage of this awesome deal. Check out a trailer:

You can find out more info here

Dear Internet, I have A Confession To Make

2010-03-12T11:43:00.005-05:00

For those of you that have known me for any length of time will know that I have more than just a passing interest in Professional Wrestling. I started watching it as a kid with my Dad and have continued to watch it for most of my adult life. While I do keep current with WWE and to a much lesser degree, TNA, I tend to think that a handful of International and Independent wrestling promotions are by far, a superior product for the wrestling fan. (Read: not sports entertainment)

While I always tend to keep my love of wrestling as a low priority talking point on dates, I am not ashamed to admit that I enjoy it. For those people that don't immediately chuckle, the next most common response is, "Oh like that sumo stuff?" After explaining that I do not watch Sumo wrestling, I then attempt to explain what it is about wrestling that I enjoy. During said explanation, I usually tend to see eyes start to gloss over at which point I just wrap it up and move on to the next topic. So, I will attempt to explain as succinctly as I can, what it is I enjoy about Professional Wrestling.

I am a big fan of storytelling in any medium, but there is something very compelling to me about watching a story between two or more competitors unfold before my eyes inside the squared circle. They are not telling the story with words, but instead with actions. As a viewer it is usually obvious who is the bad guy (heel) and who is the good guy (face). Every time I watch, I can feel ebb and flow of momentum, the anticipation of what will happen next, and there is always the possibility of seeing something I've never seen before. Even now when I attempt to explain the essence of what I enjoy about Professional Wrestling, I am having trouble verbalizing my affection for the medium. If you get it, you get it, if you don't you probably never will.

So, why have I waited 33 years to make this confession to the world? Well, there will be more to this story as the weeks unfold, this is merely the beginning. And no, I am not training to be a wrestler. There are much younger, athletic people out there. I will leave it to them and I will continue to watch with a keen eye from afar, or sometimes from the front row.

Survival of the Dread

2010-03-05T09:58:00.002-05:00

Let me start by saying that George A. Romero has directed some of my all time favorite films. He has such a fantastic way of fusing horror and gore with thoughtful social commentary. I always look forward to his films, even though he hasn't done anything great since 1985's Day of the Dead. Although after seeing this trailer, I can't help but be underwhelmed. I know I'll eventually see it, but the fact that it is being released on demand on Amazon and XBOX Live before hitting theaters really scares me. Some of my all-time favorite Directors just don't have it any longer and it's really sad. I guess the good ideas and ability fade with age as evident with other great directors like Mel Brooks and Dario Argento. Despite that, I will still watch their films and hold out hope that the next movie they make will be a return to their former glory.

The Drunken Apocalypse!

2010-02-11T12:43:00.003-05:00

I don't think Nick Swardson has ever done anything that I haven't enjoyed. This 28 Days Later spoof brings the awesome and the funny.

Hot Animated Zombie Action

2010-02-04T10:54:00.001-05:00

This trailer was created with the hope of gaining enough interest and funds to make it into a feature length film. I like the style and feel of it. Let's hope they get enough support.

Zombie Kill of the Week

2009-06-20T12:07:00.002-04:00

Woody Harrelson killing zombies? I'll check it out. At least it's an original script. Those are becoming extinct in Hollywood these days.

Apocalypse Please

2009-05-18T17:37:00.004-04:00

Swine Flu and Zombies: A Match Made in Hell

2009-05-08T14:42:00.003-04:00

Check out this amazing song by the Streets, perfectly edited with scenes from classic Zombie movies.

I'm Packing My Bags and Moving to Cleveland!

2009-04-23T02:24:00.002-04:00

This doesn't need any commentary at all. It pretty much speaks for itself.

Absolute Effing Genius

2009-04-21T13:13:00.004-04:00

This commercial is just pure genius. I can't stop watching it.

This one gets an honorable mention.

Best. Game. Ever.

2009-04-07T10:55:00.001-04:00

Hot New Video Game Consists Solely Of Shooting People Point-Blank In The Face

Where the Wild Things Are...

2009-04-03T17:39:00.001-04:00

Holy crap, this trailer looks amazing. I remember it being one of my favorite books as a kid. I can't wait to see it.

Are Violent Video Games Adequately Preparing Children For The Apocalypse?

2009-04-01T18:14:00.002-04:00

Are Violent Video Games Adequately Preparing Children For The Apocalypse?

1.21 Jigawatts!!

2009-04-01T14:44:00.005-04:00

Being a huge fan of Back to the Future, I found this to be quite hilarious. I found it on nerdist.com

Dear Marty-

Having recently reviewed the surveillance footage of the events of the night you went back to 1985, I couldn’t help but be slightly taken aback by your spurious reasoning of only allowing TEN FUCKING MINUTES to SAVE MY GODDAMN LIFE. Ten minutes??? Really. You actually thought that you could get from the Courthouse to Twin Pines Mall (I’m sorry, I mean LONE Pine Mall now–way to run over a tree, fucknut) in ten minutes. What the fuck did you think that could accomplish? What were you going to do? Vanquish the Libyans with your shortness? Yeah, I said it. YOU’RE TINY. Like Ratatouille (2008 reference), but in a puffy vest . Listen, you little feathered-haired leprechaun, any one of these Hill Valley MOUTH-BREATHERS would have had the good sense to go back, oh I don’t know, AT LEAST A DAY to give me time to prepare for the Middle East extremists and their Summer of Love van of fucking DEATH, what with having a device that has mastered the dimension of TIME and all. And I’m INCLUDING Biff in that group. You are goddamn lucky that I have a compulsive disorder when it comes to taping paper back together. Otherwise you’d have been as useless as Einstein with a Vernier caliper. Mark my words, Stuart Little, as SOON as I get this DeLorean up and running again (thanks for turning my car into a fucking lightning rod, BTW) I SWEAR I am going to go back and convince Jennifer to dump your Hobbit ass so you can go on that dumbshit camping trip ALONE with nothing to do but jam your little meerkat penis into that extra sleeping bag in the back of your gaywad new truck. Then I’m going to fuck her into tomorrow…LITERALLY. How long am I going to tap that skinny bitch? “Ten minutes oughta do it!” You vapid douche.

Thanks for watching me get shot twice,

PS - You’re a fucking CHICKEN.

A 60 Foot Phallus!

2009-03-27T16:07:00.002-04:00

From BBC News:

"An 18-year-old has secretly painted a 60ft drawing of a phallus on the roof of his parents' £1million mansion in Berkshire. It was there for a year before his parents found out. They say he'll have to scrub it off when he gets back from travelling."

Are you kidding me, Rory McKinnes? You paint a penis on your parents house? Why not a set of breasts or maybe a vajayjay? Actually, nevermind, a penis is pretty funny. You know, in a 6th grade-passing-notes-in-class-kind-of-way.

WTF is Wrestlicious?

2009-03-26T16:19:00.002-04:00

I really don't know what to think of this. On one hand it could be a trainwreck of epic proportions that would actually be entertaining to watch. But my common sense tells me that it will just be embarrassingly bad.

There is at least two legit wrestlers in this video that I recognize: Lacey Von Erich and Daizee Haze (who is not one of the featured characters) These gimmicks set wrestling back 25 years and don't do much to help the stereotype that women wrestlers are just T & A.

Happy Birthday Jason Vorhees

2009-03-13T17:02:00.004-04:00

For your birthday I got the thing you enjoy most of all... Pain!

I am always amazed that the kicker doesn't get injured more. Seeing this immediately made me think of a similar injury in my favorite pugilistic sport:

Ouch, Sid. Just, ouch. Everyone knows big men aren't supposed to go high. After watching Sid break his foot off, I wanted to find an unfortunate painful incident involving an actual good wrestler. I then remembered this horrifying accident:

The best (or worst) part of this is when Keiji Mutoh grabs his ankle! What the hell were you thinking Mutoh? Thank god he didn't throw on an ankle lock, he very well could have pulled Liger's foot straight off.

This post has been in honor of Jason Vorhees, because everyone knows he celebrates his birthday every Friday the 13th. Happy Birthday, Jason!

To get you psyched up for Watchmen

2009-03-06T10:57:00.000-05:00

Ultimate Warrior vs. Phil Collins?

2009-03-03T15:15:00.002-05:00

This is one of the most bizarre videos I've ever seen.

Blog of the Dead

2009-02-25T10:29:00.003-05:00

This blog is awesome! Everyday, a new illustration of a zombie is posted. Check it out!

Holy crap, for real?

2009-02-18T15:44:00.004-05:00

This Nintendo DS top-down shooter promises "an invasion of leper zombies" that "won't stop at anything: from the succulent legs of ham of the Three Little Pigs to the sawdust brain of Pinocchio, they are all tasty morsels for the living dead."

Engrish aside, this might motivate me to finally buy a Nintendo DS. You can find more info here.

Hardest slapshot and hardest punch

2009-02-18T10:07:00.003-05:00

This fight isn't really relevant because it was from 2 seasons ago, but you don't need a reason to see Zdeno Chara kick some ass. I don't know why anyone even messes with this guy.

JCVD, holy crap!

2009-02-16T13:01:00.003-05:00

This movie was amazing. I highly recommend you see it immediately.

It's not about a dinosaur

2009-02-16T11:41:00.003-05:00

“Tyrannosaurus Rex” is supposed to go into production this August 2009. Rumors suggest it will be about a biker gang from hell, based on a comic book Rob Zombie created with Steve Niles called The Nail. However, in a MySpace post, Zombie claims he hasn’t told anyone what the film is about yet.

When Bruce Willis was dead at the end of Sixth Sense, I...

2009-02-13T17:53:00.001-05:00

For the depressed zombie

2009-02-11T10:38:00.004-05:00

This is an advertisement for a book titled, Breathers: A Zombie's Lament. Here is a little blurb about the book:

Meet Andy Warner, a recently deceased everyman and newly minted zombie. Resented by his parents, abandoned by his friends, and reviled by a society that no longer considers him human, Andy is having a bit of trouble adjusting to his new existence. But all that changes when he goes to an Undead Anonymous meeting and finds kindred souls in Rita, an impossibly sexy recent suicide with a taste for the formaldehyde in cosmetic products, and Jerry, a twenty-one-year-old car-crash victim with an exposed brain and a penchant for Renaissance pornography. When the group meets a rogue zombie who teaches them the joys of human flesh, things start to get messy, and Andy embarks on a journey of self-discovery that will take him from his casket to the SPCA to a media-driven class-action lawsuit on behalf of the rights of zombies everywhere. Darkly funny, surprisingly touching, and gory enough to satisfy even the most discerning reader, Breathers is a romantic zombie comedy (rom-zom-com, for short) that will leave you laughing, squirming, and clamoring for more.

You can buy it here.

Who's going to buy this for me?

2009-02-10T14:57:00.001-05:00

Sony Releases New Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work

How do you improve classic literature?

2009-02-09T17:55:00.003-05:00

Zombies, of course. This is a Jane Austen novel I might actually read. Buy it here.

For the solo male gamer...

2009-02-09T17:17:00.003-05:00

A coworker of mine sent this link along to me from Gizmodo.

This is either disgusting or awesome, depending on who asks me and what our relationship is.

Instead of being just for the solo male, I think this could be exploited to be used for a 2nd or 3rd date. "Want to come to my place and play games with my joystick?"

How important is dancing in an MMO to you?

2009-02-06T18:59:00.009-05:00

I've never understood why the dance animations in an MMO could make or break the game for some people. Seeing this video:

...made me wonder. Do you really want to see your avatar in a fantasy or sci-fi setting doing popular, modern dances? Does this break immersion? I am slightly indifferent, although I do think that animation time could be better spent on other things.

Although is there really anything in the world better than the Thriller dance?

...I didn't think so.

Words cannot describe this trailer

2009-02-06T11:26:00.006-05:00

"A special needs girl with a special need to kick some ass."

Are you kidding me?

2009-02-06T11:02:00.006-05:00

This morning I attempted to purchase tickets to see Flight of the Conchords in concert. I had Ticketmaster's page open and ready to click the "find tickets" button the moment they went on sale. I did this and had 2 floor seats waiting for me. I started to fill out my information and when I submitted it, it noticed that my email address was already registered on their site and it prompted me to login. I logged in and it sent me back to the main page. I lost my tickets and could not get back to them. Annoying. I tried to get tickets again now that I was logged in. I got two tickets once again, although these obviously weren't as good as the first set. It asked me to verify my billing information. I updated my address and it kept telling me that I needed to input my name exactly as it appeared on my credit card, which it was. I was stuck in an endless loop and could not get out. I tried for several minutes to no avail. I started over once again and this time was unable to get tickets. It appears as though it was sold out. I went back just to see if I could find a single ticket. I found one, but didn't have the heart to give ticketmaster my money. I don't know, they didn't really make my experience all that convenient.

Still don't believe zombies exist?

2009-02-05T19:49:00.005-05:00

...well how do you explain this then?!

Are you staring at my sugalumps?

2009-02-05T16:45:00.004-05:00

"If you party with the party prince you get two complimentary after dinner mints"